His night routine is as follows: dinner; brush teeth; sit on toilet to try to go; then bath. After bath, put on nighttime diaper; pajamas; say goodnight to whoever is home; read a book or two; prayers and get rocked to sleep or if I'm tired, I will just lay next to him for a song.
Tonight, when I went in to get him ready for his bath, i noticed he had peed on the floor. I have gotten lots of advice about how to handle different behaviour from his therapist. When he first started peeing on the floor, she told me to calmly tell him to clean it up and then move on. It worked that time and I think after that it happened one more time or maybe twice. One time he got his feces and he spread it on the wall and all over the rugs and bathrooms. I used the same strategy. I told him to clean it and walked away until he was done. He didn't do that again with his feces.
So, I told him to clean the pee today off the floor and he started crying that I had slapped him. I said, I didn't slap you. He cried that I had hurt him. So, I walked away but it was non stop screaming that he was hurt and that he couldn't clean up the pee cuz his arm hurt. It took about a 45 minutes of screaming before he finally cleaned up the pee. I then put him in the shower and he continued crying that the water was cold. It was on the hot side of warm. I let him wash himself and then I got him out. I was in a hurry to put him to bed and end the ordeal that now had been going on over an hour. I didn't give him time to dry himself completely but instead hurried and put his pajamas on him. He was crying hysterically that he needed to dry himself off.
ARGH. I said good night.
I'm done.
Monday, July 25, 2011
Wednesday, July 20, 2011
This weekend was especially hard
I am feeling the stress and pressure. I no longer have the patience to deal with MLRA. I notice it in myself and my husband has noticed it. I feel that I'm done.
This past Saturday, our little family went on a small roadtrip to visit relatives. Once at our relative's home, MA went on timeout for I don't remember why to be honest. So, my husband took him out to the car for timeout and one of my relatives went outside with my husband. While they were out there, a girl walked by the vehicle and MLRA noticed her. He told my husband, Dad, she is pretty, why don't you leave Mom and marry her so she can become my new mom? On the way home, MLRA told me two or three times, that I needed a new face because he didn't like my face. A benign comment but together with all his other behavior was wearing on me.
On Sunday, my husband was very impatient with him and his behaviors so I decided to take MLRA to WalMart to select a toy. He gets stickers for good behavior, the behavior we are currently working on is not saying, "I'm going to f(&k you in the a$$" to his teachers. So, he gets a sticker everyday that he uses kind words at school and on the van ride home. He has stopped saying it because he LOVES stickers. When he earns 20 stickers he can pick out a toy at WalMart, his favorite store.
At WalMart he was fine. He had fun picking out what he was going to buy. He was so good, that I thought I would take him to run errands with me. However, we didn't last 5 minutes in the first store because he started acting out. So, I called my husband to tell him, I was dropping him off and that I had to finish errands alone. I dropped him off and I left to go to run errands.
I called a half hour later to see how things were going and my husband said that he had started kicking himself and started trying to pull his eyeballs out so he gave him a shower to calm down. MLRA didn't like the shower and went into a rage and started splashing water angrily around and screaming. So, my husband told him that he would let him take a nap to calm down. MLRA agreed. He lay down for a nap after a little bit of fussing but eventually did fall asleep.
I chose to stay away a little bit longer to destress.
When I got home, I was mentally in a better place to deal with MLRA. But, after dinner, I was watching television and MLRA climbed up on the chair with me and immediately cupped my breasts. I pushed him away and he said to me, "Mom are you upset because I touched your private parts?" I told him, "you do not touch other people's private parts". He smiled at me and said, I can only touch mine right? I said yes. and he said, laughing but I touched yours mom. Are you upset with me?
ARGH! I have a 13 year old niece that is developing and she is staying with us for part of her summer vacation and I feel that I have to protect her from him. I think I've had it when I can't have family over for fear of what he will do to them.
I get feedback by email and I welcome any feedback!!!! Please!!
This past Saturday, our little family went on a small roadtrip to visit relatives. Once at our relative's home, MA went on timeout for I don't remember why to be honest. So, my husband took him out to the car for timeout and one of my relatives went outside with my husband. While they were out there, a girl walked by the vehicle and MLRA noticed her. He told my husband, Dad, she is pretty, why don't you leave Mom and marry her so she can become my new mom? On the way home, MLRA told me two or three times, that I needed a new face because he didn't like my face. A benign comment but together with all his other behavior was wearing on me.
On Sunday, my husband was very impatient with him and his behaviors so I decided to take MLRA to WalMart to select a toy. He gets stickers for good behavior, the behavior we are currently working on is not saying, "I'm going to f(&k you in the a$$" to his teachers. So, he gets a sticker everyday that he uses kind words at school and on the van ride home. He has stopped saying it because he LOVES stickers. When he earns 20 stickers he can pick out a toy at WalMart, his favorite store.
At WalMart he was fine. He had fun picking out what he was going to buy. He was so good, that I thought I would take him to run errands with me. However, we didn't last 5 minutes in the first store because he started acting out. So, I called my husband to tell him, I was dropping him off and that I had to finish errands alone. I dropped him off and I left to go to run errands.
I called a half hour later to see how things were going and my husband said that he had started kicking himself and started trying to pull his eyeballs out so he gave him a shower to calm down. MLRA didn't like the shower and went into a rage and started splashing water angrily around and screaming. So, my husband told him that he would let him take a nap to calm down. MLRA agreed. He lay down for a nap after a little bit of fussing but eventually did fall asleep.
I chose to stay away a little bit longer to destress.
When I got home, I was mentally in a better place to deal with MLRA. But, after dinner, I was watching television and MLRA climbed up on the chair with me and immediately cupped my breasts. I pushed him away and he said to me, "Mom are you upset because I touched your private parts?" I told him, "you do not touch other people's private parts". He smiled at me and said, I can only touch mine right? I said yes. and he said, laughing but I touched yours mom. Are you upset with me?
ARGH! I have a 13 year old niece that is developing and she is staying with us for part of her summer vacation and I feel that I have to protect her from him. I think I've had it when I can't have family over for fear of what he will do to them.
I get feedback by email and I welcome any feedback!!!! Please!!
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Sexual contact
I would like to think that M is past his worst behavior BUT, if there is one thing that sets me off, its his sexual behavior. I can chalk some of it up like he doesn't know better. When he first came to live with us, it was a lot of humping and grinding with hugs. But, that has gone away. What remains is his intense interest in women's breasts. At first, he would ask to be picked up and carried by women, any woman, and then he will constantly and often rub himself against her breasts. He would ask that if he could touch my private parts and when I said no, he would ask if he could watch me touch my private parts. This has been the most difficult.
So, yesterday, as we are walking to a restaurant, he asked if I would carry him because he was tired. I did. And as we walked into the restaurant, he took both his hands and cupped my breast and was about to put my breast in his mouth. My gut reaction was to slap him. I quickly put him down. I couldn't deal with it. So I handed him over to my husband and let my husband deal with him for the rest of the night.
So, yesterday, as we are walking to a restaurant, he asked if I would carry him because he was tired. I did. And as we walked into the restaurant, he took both his hands and cupped my breast and was about to put my breast in his mouth. My gut reaction was to slap him. I quickly put him down. I couldn't deal with it. So I handed him over to my husband and let my husband deal with him for the rest of the night.
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