Transformation

it has now been at least a week since M has had a meltdown.  No angry outbursts and no out of control rages.  He hasn't peed anywhere but the toilet for the last week and he hasn't run in front of moving cars for about a week.  He is calm enough that he has been able to watch a cartoon from start to finish without incident. 

It hasn't been totally easy but he is so calm and I see a lot less rage.  :)

Wearing

M refused to go on timeout instead was kicking the chairs with his bare feet and trying to pull out his eyes by sticking his fingers in his eyes and trying to force them out.   I restrained him and it took about 45 minutes before he calmed down to where i could let him go.  He kept yelling at me STOP TELLING ME THAT YOU LOVE ME!!!! which is what I tell him to try to explain the restraint and that I am holding him in a restraint so that he doesn't hurt himself and that I will let him go once his body is calm. 

but when I let him go, he started kicking and screaming again in a brand new fury.  Then he started punching the wall.  So, again I restrained him and I asked him to calm down or he wouldn't get to eat dinner with us.  I calmed him down so he wasn't hurting himself anymore but he continued to hit the door.  I reminded him that he needed to calm down or he would not eat with the rest of us and he would need to eat by himself.  He got upset and started throwing his toys at me and everywhere in general.  I told him that he wasn't going to eat with us but he could come eat when he was calm.  he would be eating by himself.  He got even more upset.  Needless to say he ended up so angry that when he took his bath for the night he was throwing all the water onto the floor and still yelling at me.  I drained the water until he calmed down then i filled it back up when he was calm. 

Back home

I had to leave on a family emergency out of the country.  Because MLRA doesn't have a passport I couldn't take him.  so, i left him with my husband.  I left on a Saturday and by Tuesday my husband called to say he couldn't handle him anymore.  My husband felt he was going to lose control.  So, i asked a family member if they could take M until I got back.  M went with my family member for 4 days.  I called M twice.  The first time he told me that he didn't want to come home.  I said yes, you're gonna come home soon. he hung up on me.  The second time, he said, I don't know who you are- I don't know you.  (even after he was told who i was) he then hung up on me.  I feared that i was gonna have to start from the beginning ALL OVER AGAIN.  & i don't have the patience for it anymore.

while he was at my family member's, he took off running outside and ended up between two wheels of a tractor before the driver saw him.  He was scolded.  He got upset because he was scolded and he took off running again, this time into the middle of the street.  A car screeched to a halt to avoid hitting him.  Unfortunately, he doesn't really appreciate danger.  I believe because of the Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.  So, this will continue to happen. 

As far as being home, I had to restrain him today because he started kicking me when I put him on timeout.  He has been babbling more than I remember.  He talks a language I don't understand and it seems he's detached from reality.  I hadn't noticed the frequency or maybe it is more frequent.  I just don't know.  its scary though.